Hardly a person experiences infertility without receiving the insensitive comments usually made often by people we hold very near and dear. Whether it’s the “I’m attempting to help you by suggesting that you are the problem and you just need to relax” remarks or the “God is punishing you because you are not a good person” type of comment. Whatever the situation may be, there are a few guidelines to handle such insensitivity (violence is not one of them). In the beginning the “just relax” remarks are not so annoying. However, after awhile these remarks become very annoying and seemingly rude. To handle these comments, try to remember that they are not intentionally trying to hurt your feelings but rather they are trying to reassure you that everything will be ok. You can simply and politely reply, “I wish it were that easy for everyone, but unfortunately some of us have to try a little harder." This type of reply respectfully lets them know that there may be other obstacles that you are facing. If you’d like, you can simply explain to the person this type of comment suggests that they are not considering a possible medical condition and can come off as very insensitive. Be polite but sincere about how the remarks make you feel but do not hold in the ill feelings trying to ignore them, this only adds to the stress. Then, there are the other insensitive remarks. With these comments, evaluate who is making them. It’s not worth responding to someone who is intentionally trying to hurt your feelings. Seriously, anyone who makes such a comment is not worthy of a reply. Cordially terminate the conversation and never discuss the issue with them again. The main point here is not to get visably annoyed. Your anger will only serve the purpose of amusing them. In cases of the insensitive mil (mother in law) the above rule still applies. Because of the nature of the relationship, she is more likely to be a constant source of irritation. However, it doesn’t mean that you have to discuss the subject if you don’t think that it will be beneficial. If your relationship is such that you can have a heart to heart with her, then do so. If not, then let it be and refuse (politely) to discuss this issue with her. Here, you and your husband will need to discuss the issue and find ways to cordially get her to stop. Sometimes simply hearing it from her son is sufficient. Remember your aim is to reduce the stress in your life and one way is to refuse to let such a situation to be a major source of stress in your life. Keep your eye on the prize and let it fuel determination instead of malice. Infertility is most often mentally, physically and emotionally taxing. My personal advice is try not be discouraged. Either you have to address the issue personally and try to clarify and resolve it or forgive it and move on. The emphasis here is on the move on. Forgiving someone, doesn’t mean you have to be a constant source of ridicule. Remember all of the things that you have to be happy about and use them as a source of happiness. It’s normal to feel upset and distressed. Fortunately for you, they do not control your fate. They can only be a major source of stress, and only if you allow it. The ball is in your court on this one.